Downcast

Yeah, so today I'm a little discouraged.
I called again to the salon to try and speak with the manager and he's not in today. I think he's probably just really busy but it is really stressful to be turning the corner from wanting a job to needing a job. I was actually really excited after my haircuts. I felt they went really well and though I was a little nervous in the beginning I relaxed quickly and did what I considered to be a really good job on cutting their hair and doing it the way they wanted it done as well! He seemed to be positive about it but didn't give me much feedback either. He was with a client when I left and told me to call him so I did. On his day off the salon called me and said that they needed my address to complete my file which I took as a really good sign(in my mind, why would they need to complete your file if they weren't hiring you). So I've been excited but still calling because I want to hear the official 'you're hired' and also get a start date and what not.
Well, I've been calling for a week now and I haven't heard anything specifically from him, and so today I feel discouraged. Now a week isn't a terribly long time, but when you're calling every day it can feel like an eternity. I really don't want to be harassing the front desk, but I do want to know whats going on. Now he told me to call him. So I am...
I almost wish he'd said he'd call me. So I wouldn't feel like I'm bugging people.
Anyway.. today, after he wasn't in the salon to even talk to and I left a message for the sixth time, I felt scared, worried and discouraged.
Its fine with me if I don't work. I've been there before. But at this point in time I need to work. And I want to work, and this is not just a job for me, its the start of my career path. Now I know... there are other salons. Lots of other salons. But this one seems like the right one for me. From what I've learned in my few years of experience you need to have a good location, like your boss and have a low-drama/stress work environment. From there, the rest is in my hands. I feel like this salon is it.
So the question is... what do I do if I didn't get the job?
Well, I'm probably off to work for Starbucks. Yep. Corperate America. Woo! No, just kidding. I drink starbucks coffee and they treat their employees well. But the truth is... I moved to Oregon partly because I wanted more time with my family and we had that for a few months and if I go work for Starbucks it'll probably mean opposite schedules for Stephen and I which is kind of defeating the purpose.
Anyway, on a good note, I've been working on the boys room today. I'm making them this super cool pirate map and it's close to being finished and I will be taking pics and posting them soon.
Right now, I've got a verse on my mind. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God. For I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:5-6a
So I go now. And I will try. To put my hope in God. Because I know that if I don't get this job... he's still gonna take care of me. Because he promises that. And God always keeps his promises.

Sick days are the worst

So my oldest(7) is sick and he's probably lost it like 14 times in the last 7 hours. :(
The hard thing about when you've got little sick kids at home and you're a low-carber is you generally don't keep stocks of things in your house like saltines and top raamen and it's too late to make a run to the store for them because you can't take your puking little one to the store nor can you leave them home alone. Dad came to the rescue since he comes to visit grandma on this side of town anyway and dropped by the necessities. What a great dad!
Anyway, now I'm feeling a little ill. I really really really don't wanna get sick.
On a good note, I am 99% sure I got the job at the salon because the salon called on Wednesday saying they need my address to complete my file, which seems a little pointless to bother with if you [b]aren't[/b] going to be hiring someone. :)
Yay for jobs!

Suddenly I'm feeling ill...

So this morning I was reading a little snippet in the February issue of Glamour magazine(it replaced a subscription to my beloved Jane which went out of print). It was an article about people doing cool things to make a difference in the world and amongst the praises of those who saved a woman in a runaway car and those who restored sight to a painfully blind iraqi child there was a little piece about Ricky Martin and Guy Jacobson doing their part to fight (here's the stomach churning part) the trafficing of children(were talking as young as 5, maybe younger) as sex slaves/prostitutes. Guy Jacobsen recounted a time when he was in Cambodia and a group of girls(a 5 year old included) surrounded him and grabbed his crotch and propositioned him. When he told them to stop they told him they'd be beaten if they returned home without money.
Reading this turned my stomach and broke my heart. Not just for the children who are forced into being used for sex at such a young age, but for the parents/adults who would sell them into that lifestyle and the adults who patronize that kind of business allowing that kind of atrocity to continue.
Its just a sick cycle. Talking to a friend about this she said the families are so poor they often feel they have no other choice. I just cannot imagine doing that to my kids. I guess I would rather whore myself out than whore out my child, and I don't have ANY desire to whore myself out.
Anyway, I'm seriously going to look into this some more to see if there is any way I might possibly be able to help these girls/this community. I know I'm only one, but you've got to start somewhere.

Job Interview

I have the other half of my job interview today at a local salon. The first half went really well. This half is me doing two haircuts for the manager. One short haired and one long haired. I really hope they like my work. I really really want this job! Wish me luck!

Hot skinny models?

I stumbled across these pictures(see below) yesterday and was thouroughly discusted as to what kind of ideals are being put into our heads by the fashion industry. We all know that many photos for ads or magazine shoots are photoshopped to make them look a little better.
Sometimes I retouch my photos to get out the blemishes or I mess with the lighting qualities to bring out the best in my pictures. I crop them so they look flattering. I don't really think theres much wrong with that. But when I saw these pictures I was first grossed out by the models anorexic appearance(to me she truly looked malnutritioned like I've seen women in Africa who are starving but don't have the paunched belly from bloating).
Not only did they airbrush out her ribs and give her more shape and what appeared to me to be a new waistline, but they shaved a quarter inch off of her body in the photo which apparently is a little over 15% of her waist size so say she has an average model size waist of 24" they are shaving off about 4 inches off her waist so she looks like she's got a 20 inch waist.
The average american womans waist measurement is 35" which is 15 inches more than what she's staring at on the page. 15 inches is approximately 13 sizes bigger in jean size! A 20 inch waist is 2 sizes smaller than a double zero. Now if the average american woman is about a size 18, how fat does she feel staring at two sizes smaller than a double zero? Yet she's average?
Now I'm gonna step out here and say where I live, and the people that are my age range probably wear average size 8-12 which is a 28-31 inch waist. Even at that size you are staring at and comparing yourselves to women 8 to 10 sizes smaller than you! How is this healthy?
Its not like I've been out of it for my whole life or anything. I realize that having a models body is generally unacheiveable and often unhealthy for the general population. I also realize there a small few that are naturally stick thin and no matter what they eat they don't gain weight. However, when I saw these pictures I felt like I got a big dose of reality as to why myself and a lot of other much thinner women are always feeling 'fat and ugly'. When we're shaving inches off already too thin models and a lot of hollywood and the music industry is going though a skeletal phase, its no wonder people are feeling this way.
I decided after looking at these pictures that I still want to lose weight for my own health and comfort, but I am really ok with being 'bigger' if it means that I'm healthy! I don't need or want to look like that to feel pretty.
Anyway, heres the pictures! Take a good look!

The third attempt

This is my third attempt at a blog. Yep. We'll see if this one works.
The first one just died out after a while. The second was more like a log than a blog.
After being inspired by a few other bloggers I think I'll try my hand at this again.
Now to get that digital camera...